We set our boundaries based on our whole range of experiences in life and  on our built-in capacities for assimilating new or intensified experience.  This includes the sense of what risks we are willing to take, where the opportunities for personal enhancements are great but where the consequences may bring on new personal requirements which we may or may not be up to.

If We had mostly negative life experiences, our boundary may stay very closed not trusting anything good can come out of outside world, or out of inside for that matter.  Or depending on a person, s/he may push hard taking a lot of risks in the hopes that their life will end up different thus his/her boundary may be wide open.

We know personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within the relationships. We know that we have physical, mental, time, financial, sexual and many other areas where we have them. What we have not talked enough about boundary is the flexibility of them. It is not a fixed point on a continuum, but rather is a range on a continuum. 

Nobody can tell you how much range you must have in each area of your boundary. Tims is something I treasure a lot, and my boundary around it is pretty tight.  It is up to me to decide when to be rigid and when to be flexible to lead the life I want. This is boundary fluidity.  At any given moment, I want to have enough discernment within myself to know how flexible or how rigid I want to be with my boundaries for optimum results.

If we are too rigid on anything, we have greater chance being in broken relationships or broken spirit.  On the other hand, if we are too loose, we will consistently compromise our goals and values.