What is a healthy relationship? According to Janet G. Woititz, it is a relationship where I can be me, you can be you, we can be us, I can grow, you can grow and we can grow together. This is very similar to Gestalt marriage bow.  It sounds so simple, and yet it is quite profound.

What does it mean to be me? How do I know myself? When we consider conscious mind is only 5% of our brain, it is easy for us to see how impossible it is for us to know ourselves definitively. This not knowing makes the process or the journey interesting forever. This not knowing also makes it important for us to accept that we continue to grow as long as we live.

When I receive validation, understanding and open curiosity for my journey and when I give the same back to my partner, we can have a healthy relationship. 

Of course, it becomes very challenging when my being interferes with your being. When we face this challenge with openness, we can come up with many options. Either I wait while you pursue being you, or you wait while I pursue being me or we come up with a different structure in our relationship that allow us both pursue ourselves. Whatever that end result is, it came with our open communication and consideration.

When we embrace the fact that I am here to live my life and you are here to live your life and when we don’t judge this as selfishness, we can live with freedom in relationship.