Pop Psychology has a lot of things mixed up.  One of them say among adults, “ I love him/her unconditionally.”  We love a little baby even when s/he screams. 

Would we love our partner when s/he screams uncontrollably? If we insists on this, we are only showing our blindness or dishonesty.  Nothing else

Healthy adults don’t need unconditional love.  Even if truth may hurt my pride or ego, it still gives me much more to work with than false agreement or praise.

So why does unconditional love get so disproportionate amount of publicity?  Because it is a childhood need and because so many of us didn’t get our needs met.  We want to have the illusion that this need can be finally met by our partners, but it can never be fulfilled later in life.

What then, you say? Are we doomed to live lives without real satisfaction and love? The answer is we can, only if we mourn for what has been missed, missed at the crucial time.  When we do this, we finally accept the loss rather than putting the burden on our partners.  As you can see, this gives our love life better chance of being more satisfying.